How to Get Your Partner to Take Care of Themselves

I constantly have clients coming to be complaining about their partners not being “evolved” enough. Or frustrated that their boyfriends and husbands are not taking care of their health. As I’m hearing these complaints, I, of course, sit politely and listen, although I know exactly what the problem is.

We humans do this funny thing when we’re in need of attention. We put our focus on someone else! Actually, it’s more like we obsess. If we’re in a romantic relationship, we tend to look at our partners. But, really, it can be anyone we’re close to.

What we do is we try to “fix” them or we point out what they’re doing wrong and how it affects us. We can sense a problem brewing and naturally we think it’s the other person.

Guess what, most of the time this is a huge red flag that the person who needs your focus and obsession is you!

Why do we do this weird thing? Well, it’s usually easier to see a problem outside of us. Plus, when we know something needs to be fixed, we rarely what to admit it’s us, so we go for something that is reflecting what’s going on within us.

Not only is turning the focus on ourselves good for us, but it’s actually the thing that is going to create change in our partners or the situation. Our partners don’t want to be told what to do. But if we start making the first move by working on ourselves, they will ultimately follow suit. Or what bothered you before will no longer bother you because you’ll have a different perspective. Or, you’ll know exactly how to handle the situation now that you have filled your own cup first.

So, my friend, I invite you to ask yourself why you’re so triggered by your partner. And also ask if there is something that needs attention within you. Take the lead, and show your partner how good it looks to take care of ourselves first.

xo, 

Nikki