How to Stop Comparing Yourself

Most days I’m a delight. And then some days I wake up raging because my house is not as far along as I’d like it to be. You know those things that don’t bother you until they do? That’s my house.

What I do on those glorious mornings is I begin to compare my house to the houses of others: My friends, my family, and the girl on Instagram who I don’t know. I get really mad at the fact that their home is nice and mine is not.

After I blame my husband and the kids for their lack of carpentry skills and financial status, I’ll throw myself a five-star pity party, where I list all the ways I have failed at life.

This comparison game can go on for a while, but with the help of my patient husband, I ultimately crawl myself out of the hole. Today, I would like to help you crawl out of yours with these three reminders:

1. Take a Media Detox

Let’s be honest. Our comparison problems are only augmented by our social feeds, podcasts, blogs and so on. It’s so amazing how much information there is out there, but it also causes us to compare and doubt ourselves. I believe there is a time for absorbing information, but there’s also a time for knowing and believing in what we want. If we find our feeds are making us feel overwhelmed, jealous, or confused, it’s time to take a break. Your mental health will thank you for it later!

2. Take Accountability

As much as I would like to blame my the uncomfortable parts of my life on other people, I know that my choices brought me here. This can be really hard to hear, but it can also be really freeing.

You may be feeling like you lack something that others have, but you have to ask yourself what choices got you there. Sometimes they’re neutral choices, like deciding to pay for a vacation rather than buying a new piece of furniture. Sometimes, our baggage gets in the way, like when we think we have to pick moving up in our career over finding a romantic partnership.

We’re always making choices. And our choices create our lives. So when we something we wish we had, we have to honor the choices we’ve made in the past and decide which ones we want to make in the future. When we do this, we get our power back and realize that we have some say in what shows up in our lives.

3. Bless Their Success

We have to bless other people’s success. When we get angry about someone else’s good fortune, what we’re saying to the universe is “that is bad.” If we’re mad at ourselves for not having a partner like she does, or money like he does, or a career like they do, we’re blocking the channel to receive.

What we want to say is “Good for them. I can and will have that soon, too.” Let the universe know that you like that. Let your mind know that you believe that there is an unlimited amount of gifts in the world. When we focus our energy on abundance, we attract more of it. Guess what happens when we focus on lack? Yep.

nikki novo