How to Make Dating Less Exhausting

You may know this about me already, but one of my favorite topics is our inner victim. Yep, I’m that kind of geek.

Our inner victim is all about feeling disempowered. You know those moments in life when it feels like we have no other choice? That’s where the victim comes out to play.

For many of us, victim mentality runs really deep — especially for women. And with good reason, right? History hasn’t been exactly kind to women, so of course, it’s been easy to feel bad for ourselves. If we don’t catch our victim tendencies, we just keep passing it onto the next generation, making it seem like a habit that feels genetic.

For those of us who battle with this shadow, dating can be a trigger. You see with dating, it feels like we’re constantly waiting around for someone to pick us. I have clear memories of being at the bar waiting for some guy to walk up to me, and choose me. This is why dating gets so exhausting. It feels like we have no say in the game.

But what we fail to realize is that we, too, are choosing. Whether you’re aware of it or not, you have an idea of what you want from a partner. You won’t commit to just anyone. If you really wanted to, you could couple up with someone tomorrow. But you don’t. Because you have the patience and faith it takes to find the right partnership for you.

This little switch in perspective is what we need to gain the stamina we feel we’re losing while dating. All of sudden, life doesn’t feel like a big waiting room until we find that romantic partner. We can start living again and realize we’ve been the one choosing all along.

And if you feel like you need a help on getting clear on what it is you’re looking for, check out my video on “How to Find Your Soulmate.” Happy picking!