How to Move on After a Bad Experience
We’ve all had one of those moments where we felt really gross, mad, embarrassed… enter your bad feeling here. A lot of times when we experience a moment like that, they’re hard to get over. The feeling gets so strong that we start to wish it just never happened — any of it.
But we can’t erase the past, right? So how do we deal with a shitty situation and be able to move on? I have two steps for you to help you get started.
Well, first off, we have to recognize that the moment or moments that made us feel bad were exactly that: moments. We experienced a bad moment: a time when we were rejected, when someone was mean to us, when we received a large bill we couldn’t pay, etc. That happened in a moment, and yes, it still may be your reality (you still have to pay that bill; you’re still getting divorced), but your life is much bigger and much more fulfilling than one moment. That moment does not define your life.
Step two is to bring your awareness to the present moment. As you read this, you’re probably sitting down, not experiencing any physical pain. In fact, you might be in a pretty good place, a safe place, like your bed or couch. And when you look around, you realize that in this moment, things aren’t too bad. I’m not talking about your situation; I’m talking about this exact moment. There’s no creditor showing up at your door and that douchy guy you dated who made you feel bad is nowhere around. In this moment, you are well.
When we become aware that this moment ain’t so bad, we realize that we have a choice in whether or not we bring that past pain (which came from a past moment) into our present life. Usually, we do carry around the pain. We play the past moment in our head over and over again, giving it more life and more power to the point that the pain becomes our default feeling.
The good news is every second, we have the choice to not replay the past and to live in the beautiful present we currently are experiencing. And the way we see the beauty in the present is by taking time to be thankful for all the good we are experiencing this moment. That is where you’re going to keep your focus. And just like that, you leave the past in the past and call in a new future.