I received a really nice review of my podcast recently on a blog. It feels good to receive a gold star on our creative endeavors, right? After I read her write-up of my podcast, I decided to peruse the iTunes reviews, too.
Amid the several positive reviews of my podcast was one really negative review. It wasn’t one of those mean-spirited kind that we can just pass of as a hater. This was a legitimate person who just didn’t like my style. She felt I sounded uncomfortable on the mic, and she also didn’t like that I read my blog posts verbatim. Centered with Nikki Novo is just not her cup of tea.
Of course, I was down for a second, but then I realized this is a classic example of, “You can’t please everyone.”
When someone disapproves of us or our work, we take it personal. We believe that somehow their statement is proof that we are not enough. Why is it that we can feel good about ourselves one minute and then really shitty the next simply because we heard a not-so favorable comment?
We live in a world of opposites. Some people prefer warm and others cold. Some people like their water at room temperature and others absolutely hate it. Does that mean we should ban room temperature water and all the people who drink it? Obviously, no.
In Don Miguel Ruiz’s book “The Four Agreements,” the second agreement is to not take anything personal. “Nothing other people do is because of you. It is because of themselves,” he writes.
Some people are not going to like the way we show up in the world because they have different expectations of what we should look like; like the podcast listener who expected something other than my blogs being read aloud. Others are going to feel shitty inside because of their own traumas and they say things to hurt us so we too feel their pain.
There are so many reasons, yet dissecting their motives is not our job. Our job is to remember to not take these statements as the truth of who we are. We are not to take on these projections as our own inner selves.
We are also not to strive to make those people who do not agree with us, happy. Imagine if I would take down all my podcast episodes and rework it so I can make that one listener happy. First off, what about all the other people who do enjoy the podcast? And second, what if I make something different and that listener is still not happy?
Our job is always to do our own inner work. We are asked to be so strongly centered that even when we do receive outside opinions, we can still tell the difference between what is in alignment with our truth and what is not.
You do you, my friend. I will do me. And let’s agree to never look back. The world will be better for it.